Sitting with the discomfort of distress
Tolerating the distress of being productive all the time feels ominous especially when the depression hits hard. At that time getting up and taking care of ourselves feels like a chore. It is essential at that point to find some way to look at making that first step to reach out for help. Whatever that looks like calling that friend or family member to feel like the loneliness is not there anymore. Breaking out of that vicious cycle of looking dull into the netherworld is what makes me look for that hope.
Writing my thoughts after a hard day makes me know that there is something I look forward to feel these emotions and find a way to express it too. Not doing that feels like there is something I have not connected with myself. Journaling is my coping mechanism and there maybe other containers for different people for holding our thoughts. This modality helps me connect with things that feel positive and those that feel not helpful at this moment. I take time to sift through them and understand what feels more effective in the moment.
Doing this exercise helps me clarify things for myself and reflect on what benefits me and what seems unclear still. Breaking out of staying in my head and letting them out of my system enables me to feel that sense of agency that there is somewhere I can be myself and there is no judgment.
Journaling brings mindfulness into my thoughts, emotions and behavior. It is out of my system and it feels contained in a place that feels safe to me. Processing through my emotions looks like this and sitting with that discomfort feels a little more comfortable doing this.