Solving conflicts constructively
Self Analysis
The way that I’ve dealt with issues at hand within my family and social relationships is I essentially make the mistake at the time. Take a step back from it after the fact due to my age old impulsivity reflex. From there I recurse on the issue on why I did that as a matter of self analysis. Over time it has taken effort not to over analyze to the point of paralysis. Iterations of reflections do happen as always. That is my planning and thought process any ways with anything in life.
Empathy
With that being said, I gather my thoughts as if I was an observer of my own self during these analyses. Permuting on the potential ways I could have handled myself helps me feel like I can actually empathize with the people I’ve indeed hurt in the heated exchange. This process of putting myself in their shoes at the receiving end has helped me solve a lot of woes in my life, even my divorce heated exchanges with my family. I’ve even come to apologize for my meanness in the heated exchanges and reconciled with them stating the facts after the fact of how they helped me see the point of rationality.
Taking a Time Out from a Heated Exchange
Our family is big on not taking emotionally rash decisions. When that happens, we all stall and take a step back to reconcile as a family. It is a long drawn process as we are all fully aware that the heated exchange is happening actively and the energy is not lost on any of us during that period. However, we take individual times by ourselves in our days to figure out what maybe the best course of action. It is a process of iterations in itself. With a lot of emotional consideration in play as well.
The time away time is essential for all of us so we put our hearts and mind at the right place for us, individually. Making things simpler by chunking it down into digestible pieces has always been the way that worked for me. This enables me to see the picture clearly and with empathy.
I’ve been known to be curt with my words and short fuse always since I was a kid. That is my energy to do the right thing. It usually means something in the environment is off for me. With that energy I start to think clearly. To effuse a solution that would present itself through the iterative analyses. It takes time and sometimes several months for a larger life issue. In the end, it comes together. It would essentially be relevant to the current context of the issue at hand. This is how I analyze.
Repair after the Time out
The final part is communication of my analysis process. Laying it out to my relationships on what I came up with. I definitely do not hesitate on apologizing for my imperfections as I genuinely would feel the need for that always. I would not want to be yelled at. So, they do not need to be on the receiving end of that too. However, I present my case on why I did what I did. That usually resolves the problem.