Taking the notation that each one’s subjective experience is unique to their own experience as explicitly described through the subjective in the phrase, makes me believe that my truth is my truth and none else. It maybe conceivable to someone else who has had a similar experience or can understand my description through the power of mirror neurons and empathy, and my experience is my own story to tell. My narrative is how I make meaning of my experience. I make meaning of my own experience through my lens of the world. My description of the experience is separate from the experience itself. They are two different parts of my brain in play. The conscious awareness that I bring to the emotional experience tells me that this is how I relate to the emotional content of the most recent experience that I have formed a narrative around. This is how I navigate therapy, through meaning making narratives through processing in the therapeutic relationship. Yes, it is a processing environment that is hand held through inquisitive inquiry. This is my experience of therapy so far and that helped me navigate my stressors effectively and appease myself in the process and not anybody else. The people pleaser in me takes a back seat and promotes to self-validation in effect. This is done through a therapist’s nervous system coregulating with my own nervous system. This interception helps me with my own neuroception in between therapy sessions.

Looking ahead into the future through my frontal lobe to quell the anxiety of what the future holds, is a process I have questioned on and on and making the plans helps me sit with the anxiety better. Learning to make these plans for these what if scenarios that come up, helps me relate to my life better. This has been easier to do as soon as I had my first kid. Planning for contingencies is the norm of the day. When they need to feed, potty, illnesses or play time with friends, more recently handling homework. Navigating the nuances of planning for these umpteen situations as possibilities helps me satisfy the need of caregiving as a mom and also at the same time better equip myself with the anxiety that comes with not being prepared enough. Carrying a water bottle or snack has become natural for me and it surprises some of my friends but it felt nurturing to me since the very first time I left my home through my divorce process. This plan that I have something for the kids makes me feel secure. This subjective experience of my own caregiving methods from a different parent helps me sit with the discomfort that comes with comparing parenting styles with friends. My own ways may not match other ways out there and that’s ok.

Reference:

Stumbling on Happiness – Daniel Gilbert