When there is a certain emotion that bubbles up so large than the present situation that it feels overwhelming, it is important acknowledge that the eventual interaction if this continues will end up being explosive and possibly unproductive. Bringing awareness to this urge to explode is the first step in being able to bring that pause and possibly do a graceful exit out of the situation.

The pause helps to bring some moment to moment awareness into play and help breathe through for a few moments as the emotion builds up  in the body. Allowing the emotion move through us is important and gets us the pause we so need in the moment. Important to note is that we do not allow the situation to escalate by not striking when the iron is hot at this time.

Taking this very crucial pause in the otherwise heated escalation is to help us wedge in a word stating our need to take a time away to collect our thoughts and come back to the situation with better understanding of our thoughts and triggers in the heated exchange. Learning this during the time away is what the time out is for. We take care of our anger and nurture it as a gentle child. This is the self-compassion we extend to ourselves by letting the other person know that we are doing that. Once we nurture ourselves and process the anger for ourselves by recognizing the triggers and how we felt in the moment, we have an opportunity to come back calmer and repair with the person involved in the heated exchange. Here’s to allowing effective pauses to take care of ourselves…:)

Reference:

Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames – Book by Thich Nhat Hanh